Trent-cam
by Shiva-J
Summary: For their video project in Mr. O'Neill's English/Language Arts/Whatever Class, Jane decides that her and Daria's project will involve her brother Trent and a day in his life. Hilarity ensues.


**Trent-cam**

"See Daria?" Jane said as she finished setting up the small camera above the doorframe of Trent's bedroom.

"And what are we going to be seeing exactly?" Daria asked with a tilt of her head.

Jane smirked, "You see Daria, Andy Warhol once did a movie of a guy sleeping for eight hours and everyone loved it. So I thought, 'Why not rip off an idea from a legend?'"

Daria shook her head, "This is O'Neill we are dealing with Jane, there's no way that he'll accept a project of your brother passed out in his bed for that long."

Jane chuckled, "Oh trust me Ms. Morgendorffer, our English class is going to be in for the show of a lifetime."

* * *

"And now..." Mr. O'Neill gushed in his faux happy voice, "A film by Daria and Jane."

At their desks, Jane was grinning like she won the lotto, Daria however seemed bored and a tad annoyed.

The annoyance was due to the fact that after helping set up the camera, Jane had point-blank refused to let Daria have anything to do with the project.

Not even the editing.

"And thus we enter the breach," Daria mused darkly as the lights dimmed, "And I get the first F in my life."

* * *

_The title __"A Slothful Life"__ appears on a black screen. (cut) The blackness fades to reveal a messy bedroom that borderline's a landfill. (cut) a twenty-something is passed out on the remains of a mattress. (cut) the caption "This is Trent Lane" appears. (cut) fast-forwarding. (cut) stops and two guys walk into the room giggling softly, one is bald and the other one had bubblegum pink hair and a bottle of water in his hands. (cut) The bald guy giggles a bit more loudly as the pink-haired fellow grabs an ashtray and dumps out the contents. (cut) the ashtray is full of water, bald guy dips Trent's hand into it. (cut) They are both laughing like loons, Trent has a big wet spot on his pants._

"Oh dear..." O'Neill croons.

That has everyone but Daria and Jane laughing.

"Keep watching." Jane said with a dark grin.

Daria gulped.

_(cut) the guys leave. (cut) Trent turns over. (cut) Trent scratches his bum in his sleep. (cut) Trent farts loudly. (cut) A hot chick with black hair enters and complains about the smell. (cut) The hot chick has just opened a window. (cut) Now she's sitting on the floor with a thing of incense going, and she's lighting up a joint. (cut) She looks at the passed out Trent and says, "I thought setting your clock ahead three hours would be enough to wake your lazy ass." Trent barely stirs. (cut) Trent turns over, revealing that he's pissed himself. (cut) The hot chick is looking at him appraisingly. (cut) "Well..." she purrs, "Momma does like a messy boy. And I see you're all excited. Well... I might as well get something out of this..." _

O'Neill squeaked very unmanly and everyone got to see his eyes roll into the back of his head before he passed out.

_(cut) a blank screen appears and the phrase Censored by the Government Bureau of Moral Correctness: For the Glory of the Dead Baby Jesus!_

Everyone in the room groaned at missing out on the sex.

_(cut) back to the room, the hot chick is walking out of the room slightly disheveled. (cut) Trent is still asleep in bed, but now only in his ragged and wet boxers. (cut) fast-forwarding in which Trent moves by inches over a period of four hours. (cut) Jane Lane walks into the room and shakes her head. (cut) "Well once I get this camera down I'll dress you, it seems as if my big bro has had another fun-filled day." (cut) screen goes to black and a great big FIN appears. _

"Wow," Daria said to break the silence, "And here I thought that being a lazy bum wouldn't get you anywhere in life."

"Oh Daria," Jane said with a laugh, "Trust me when I say that this is as good as it'll ever get for Trent."

As Daria sat in deep thought, one of which involved who would figure out that they needed someone to turn on the lights since O'Neill had fainted, she wondered if the next film would be slightly better or slightly worse.

On the ground, forgotten and uncared for by anyone (not even Ms. Barch) O'Neill twitched slightly but made no other movements.

**(cut)**


End file.
